top of page

The Talk

I had “the talk” with my daughter the other night. I have been looking forward to this, but she hasn’t been interested at all – until now. Now we have had some puberty fights lately and I decided to tell her the secrets about growing up and about sexuality.

The childhood is a time of exploring the world. The baby explores its voice, its body and its senses and the young child explores the world and the different perspectives of life through playing.

A young child explores through his body to find out what feels nice to him. Sand between the toes, touching the skin on the forearms or eating cherries. When you are a child, I said, you have  extraordinary ability to dream and to fantasize. And as a child you are perfectly satisfied with dreaming, you can spend hours and hours daydreaming and creating a beautiful inner world.

When you turn adult, your sexual energy will awaken powerfully. The sexual energy is what makes adults able to manifest and create their dreams. Now it’s no longer satisfying to just fantasize and dream. It’s like an itching inside to make the dreams materialize and to see the result of your own personal power. Seeing the result of your dreams manifest, will also attract other people’s sexual energy to you, and together your energy and ability to manifest grows.

The sexual energy awakens in the transition between child and adult as an invitation to further explore what feels good for YOU.

I encourage you to enjoy this time with yourself. Dancing in front of the mirror by your self, looking at the best videos on Youtube and touching your own body to find out how the tingling sexual energy grows in you – and learn what makes it grow.

Later, you will find the need to invite other people into your world, to tingle together with you. After finding out what feels good for you, you can increase the energy by sharing it with someone who tingles in the same way as you do.

This sexual energy will come as a attraction to situations and people who has the ability to make you grow. Let’s say you dreamt of being a great singer since you were a child. Then you might find attraction to someone with great skills in playing guitar, and together with her, you will learn how to sing beautifully. It can be attraction to someone who really likes the way you sing, so that you can use his attention to get energy to sing more. You can be attracted to someone since he is a big boss of a record company and you will record your songs together with him. Your voice and attention will make other people tingle of energy and maybe your songs will make the whole world a more loving and happy place. This doesn’t mean that you will have penetrative sex with everyone you feel this tingling attraction to, attraction can come and go in the blink of an eye and doesn’t necessary meanual sexually engagement.

Touch and sex is a great way tough to get really close to someone. To feel him or her deeply. To learn of his deep desires and her wildest dreams. Physical touch of all kind generates oxytocin in the body and this hormone makes you more open and empathic. This hormone makes your ability to read facial expressions better, you will relax around others and also feel more safe in revealing yourself. This is a further way to calibrate who you will engage in your life, and who will make your world grow.

Everything we do is done through the sexual energy. I had a conversation with some 17 year old boys aspiring to be elite football players. They came to me as a part of their training to learn yoga and mental training. We spoke about their driving force, why did they want to be elite football players?

“To be rich”, they answered.

“Why do you want to be rich?”, I asked.

“To be able to buy a great car”, they replied.

“Wow, a great car Why do you want a great car?” I responded.

“To get beautiful women”, they laughed.

The sexual energy is the force behind everything and when we learn to let it flow freely, it will take us to a life of ease, joy and love.


Do you have questions or concerns about tantra, sexuality and relationships? Ask them directly to me and you might get an answer here in my blog. Your curiosity is a gift and it leads to growth and openness.


Thank you for your question!

tantra retreat


It is so easy to contribute to a better world. With awareness, life becomes a kind, accepting and loving playground where we can all grow. The easiest way to contribute is to share this article on Facebook!


bottom of page