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Love cunnilingum!

"I found you online so I thought you would help with what I am looking for. I want to get better at satisfying women with my mouth, my hands and at performing yoni massages. I want to get consistently better at making the person I'm with feel pleasure. Initially I just wanted to make sure I got it right so please get back so I know this is something you can help me with?

Best regards - Thomas"

Dear Thomas

You don't even have to come to a session to be better at what you are asking for. Let's start with asking yourself “what is a good lover”?

A good lover is someone who loves. Someone who enjoys and who surrenders totally to pleasure. Don’t you think?

So how can someone be better at cunnilingum (licking pussy) or fingering than another then?

The answer is easy - the one who is present and enjoying it is a much better lover than someone who is there, trying to perform their skills. If you really enjoy licking pussy, you will obviously do it a lot. And if you love it, your presence will make you feel the feedback of the pussy. You will know what makes her eros rise by the way she feels.

I remember one of my ex partners telling me with excitement, that he found out that he has ten cocks on his hands. His fingers became sensitive as lingams when we made love, and I loved being fingered by him. He seemed to find the most pleasurable parts of my yoni.

Women are very sensitive to if their lovers are trying to PERFORM sexual acts on them. Of course we all want our partners to enjoy the lovemaking, but the act of performance actually makes you less present, and we feel that. When you lack presence or when you have a goal, we will tense up and feel less. We may even be bored during sex.

A woman doesn't want to be there for you to prove yourself to be a “good lover”. We want you to enjoy us fully. We want to feel your passion and your love. We want to feel that you are dissolving in pleasure between our legs. Your passion and love makes us women relax and with relaxation our pleasure increases.

So how to be better at giving a woman cunnilingum or a dreamy fingering:

  1. be present

  2. be passionate

  3. be in love.

And if you want to learn the magic of tantra - come and join one of our beautiful tantra massage trainings. There you get to practise to be present, without goal and to listen with your whole body to the erotic currents.



Do you have questions or concerns about tantra, sexuality and relationships? Ask them directly to me and you might get an answer here in my blog. Your curiosity is a gift and it leads to growth and openness.


Thank you for your question!

tantra retreat


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