The power of connection
I felt alone. And I got stuck with my phone and I was almost manically switching between different "social" apps. No funny messages, no contact, nothing felt exciting. Did no one think of me?
For a moment, I felt like the loneliest person in the universe.
I decided to go out, but once I was out on the street I became judgmental and mean. "Damn sheeps," I thought. "Corona slaves with face masks on, your so fucking silly". My judgmental thoughts frightened me and I got sad.
I put music on in my headphones and I kept walking, then suddenly I was filled with a gentle tenderness and understanding towards myself.
The feeling of loneliness is something that strikes us all from time to time, whether we have friends and family or not. When loneliness comes, we tend to feel like a victim and when we do, we are filled with judgments towards ourselves and each other. Feelings of judgement separates us even more, and so I decided to do the opposite.
I slowed down and I met the gaze of my fellow human beings, and that was when the magic happened. I began to see their facial expressions. Some of them were worried and scared of me, they lowered their eyes in shyness. Other eyes were completely cold and empty. But some glances met mine with curiosity. Two humans meeting in the present now. I noticed that I got warm inside from being met and I started to smile. When I smiled, the strangers smiled back at me and some of them did something completely un-Swedish. They met my gaze, smiled and said "hello".
And I didn’t feel alone anymore.