Pre Menopause - the path to power

Pre-menopause is the time where the body is still fertile, but the psyche is no longer naïve.

Hormones are shifting in this time, almost like in puberty. It can be confusing, or it can feel like coming home. What women can do in this time is not to fight the changes, but to meet them consciously, so the power that’s arriving doesn’t harden or collapse.

The first thing is to stop outsourcing safety. 

This phase asks you to become the place your nervous system rests. That means slowing down enough to feel yourself. Not numbing stress with intensity, productivity, or constant stimulation, but learning how to down-regulate on purpose. Long exhales. Gentle presence in the body. Touch that calms before it excites. When safety comes from inside, desire stops being reactive and starts being magnetic.

Taking care of the body now is not about control, it’s about paying respect to yourself and making your temple a pleasurable place to live in. 

It's important to do strong muscle training to protect bones and muscles together with movement that keeps the fascia hydrated and alive. So a good combination between lifting weights at the gym and practicing yoga is suggested.

I also recommend food that nourishes rather than spikes, less sugar, processed food and alcohol is very important. Your body needs more sleep the more you age. I do not consider this a sacrifice, but a blessing. I just invest in exclusive sheets and blankets and I make sure to go to bed early. I just love to be embraced by my fluffy bed and to breathe slowly and pleasurably.  This isn’t just anti-aging; it’s pro-vitality. The body remembers how you treat it in this phase, and it will repay you later.

Sexually, this is the time to unlearn performance completely. Pre-menopause is not about doing sex better, it’s about feeling pleasure more honestly. Sex starts by the sink while doing the dishes, and continues with cuddles on the sofa and a sexy shower.

Now is the time to cultivate your inner pleasure as a resource rather than a reward for being “done” with everything you need to do. When a woman can generate pleasure without needing to be chosen, desired, or validated, her sexuality becomes sovereign.

Emotionally, this phase will expose every place you’ve been betraying yourself. Tolerance for bullshit drops for a reason and instead of pathologizing irritability, listen to it. Often it’s grief finally allowed to surface. Grief for boundaries not held. Desires not honored. Truths swallowed. If you meet that grief with compassion rather than self-judgment, it turns into clarity and power instead of bitterness.

I have had two years of crying every day. I resisted it at first, but then I felt the blessing of being allowed to feel the sadness I thought I had to push down to cope with life in the past.

In menopause relationships may also change. Many women realize they’ve been regulating others at the expense of themselves. Pre-menopause asks: Where am I over giving and people pleasing? Where am I staying small to be loved? When you stop doing that, some connections will fall away. What remains becomes more real, more erotic, more alive.

And finally, this is the time to cultivate meaning that isn’t dependent on youth. To find the purpose that isn’t tied to being needed and to explore creativity that comes from desire, not approval. This phase is incredibly fertile for women who are willing to stop proving and start expressing. What you plant now — in how you move, love, rest, and tell the truth — becomes the ground you’ll stand on in menopause and beyond.

Pre-menopause is not the beginning of the endIt’s a portal.

A chance to turn wisdom into embodiment.To let eros mature and libido to flourish.

Do you need guidance - let me know!