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Lets talk about sex!

A few days ago I was a part of a panel discussion about tantra on TV and before the shoot, one of the female staff asked me about the tantric orgasm.

It was the usual question, "how does it feel, is it like a regular orgasm or different"?

"Well", I answered her, "there are different kinds of orgasms, right? Like the difference between the clitoral orgasm and the vaginal orgasm you know..."

"No I don´t know", she answered. "I never had a vaginal orgasm".

"Ok", I continued, I thought she might be a woman who preferred it anally. "Well you know like the difference between an anal orgasm and a throat orgasm", I tried.

"No, haven´t experienced that either", she answered.

I was not chocked to hear that, even if I am worried that so many women don´t know their bodies enough to explore different kinds of orgasms. Or rather, what makes women so tense and stressed during sex that they can't experience the deep and complete pleasure we are all designed to experience.

The female orgasm is veiled in many myths. In ancient times, starting with the theories of Hippocrates, people believed that the female orgasm was needed in order to produce a baby. The reasons were discussed, maybe the woman released her own seed during orgasm and some believed that the vaginal contractions "sucked" the seamen in to the womb. And a woman who was pregnant after a rape was a woman who for sure had enjoyed the rape, since pregnancy was not possible without orgasm.

In the medical literature of the 19th century the condition "hysteria" was widely discussed. Both men and women could suffer from the condition, but women were considered to exhibit a wide array of symptoms, like faintness, nervousness, sexual desire, insomnia, fluid retention, heaviness in the abdomen, shortness of breath, irritability, loss of appetite for food or sex, and a "tendency to cause trouble". The cure was simple. Manual or mechanical stimuli of her sex organs with the result of a so called "paroxysm" witch means "a sudden attack or outburst of a particular emotion or activity".

It was not until the 60´s that the female orgasm was scientifically defined.

In the 1967 book The Naked Ape, Desmond Morris argued that the female orgasm might have developed to make males prove that they had determination, gentleness, tenderness and all the other qualities required to bring one about: all good factors in a good father for one's children. He also suggested it might increase the possibility for conception by "knocking the woman out" and keeping her horizontal so that the sperm could reach the egg easier.

Many woman has only experienced a clitoral orgasm, even thou our capacity to orgasm is enormous. Maybe we compare ourselves with the men who falsely believes that the ejaculation is the same as the orgasm. The orgasm is what comes before the ejaculation and in a so called peak orgasm the orgasmic capacity many times turns off for a while before it is possible to build up sexual energy again.

A peak orgasm is when the sexual energy is built up, up, up, up, until it reaches climax and releases out of the body. A multi orgasmic experience is when the energy is built up, opens a small release and continues to build up to a higher level of energy and then a bigger release. A multi orgasmic experience can serve the body with wave after wave of orgasmic energy, and not only locally in the clitoris.

We can have orgasms in the G-spot, in the cervix, in the womb, in the spine, in the breasts, in the throat, in the mouth and in the anus and they all feel different. We can have orgasm in the skin, in the heart and in the energy field... they all feel different. And we can have valley orgasm where the sexual energy makes the body fully relax and surrender in a deep relaxed state.

This is how orgasmic we can be as humans. Men can also have all those amazing orgasms, but we need to explore new ways to make love in order to open up to a deeper bliss.

This small video is a shoot of a tantric lovemaking and exploration of waves of energy orgasms together.


Do you have questions or concerns about tantra, sexuality and relationships? Ask them directly to me and you might get an answer here in my blog. Your curiosity is a gift and it leads to growth and openness.


Thank you for your question!

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