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Our ability to enjoy is already established in the womb. The fetus touches itself as a way to create a relationship with its own body and rthen as unborn we explore
our body and how we can enjoy our senses.
The unborn child touches its mouth, its mother's insides and its sex, and that touch causes the fetus to enjoy and to relax. During childbirth, the fetus is supposed to seek the right position in the mother's pelvis by twisting together with the contractions of the uterus and thus finding the least possible resistance out into the world.
This is possible through the child's ability to distinguish pleasure from discomfort.
The world of the small child is about being on a constant journey of discovery with enjoyment as the goal. As a baby, you touch your parents' skin and hair, hold, hug and find security in your parents, which leads to a sense of security within yourself.
A security that creates a courage to continue exploring pleasure through play.
Pleasure is part of your inner compass that guides you towards a life of pleasure.
If, as a child, you weren't allowed to devote yourself to the things that you enjoyed, yours won't work inner compass as well as if you had been allowed to explore what exactly you enjoy.
Maybe then you have learned to be prepared and go against your inner impulses.
What did you enjoy as a child?
Hopefully you got enough touch and respect from your parents growing up and hopefully you were allowed to explore your own sexuality in peace as a youngster. In pre-puberty, our ability to enjoy takes on a whole new dimension. Our genitals are activated and as these areas are filled with nerve endings, by touching ourselves we can stimulate a completely new kind of pleasure, namely the erotic pleasure. This is an extremely important time in our development and our innocent sexuality should not be associated with shame, guilt or be exploited. If this happens we get but for life. Our ability to enjoy is taken away from us.
When we enjoy, two very important substances are secreted in our brain.
Dopamine and oxytocin.
Dopamine makes you motivated, happy and driven while oxytocin makes you feel calm, loving, nurturing and friendly. Oxytocin strengthens the immune system and actually makes it easier for us to understand each other. It gives a sense of belonging.
Without dopamine we become depressed and without oxytocin it is easy to suffer from stress, worry and anxiety.
Oxytocin is secreted when we eat but also to an increasing degree when we touch someone, when we ourselves are touched or when we breastfeed, have sex or have an orgasm.
There are two different types of dopamine, a fast-acting that also drops quickly below baseline and a slow-acting dopamine.
The slow-acting dopamine is secreted when we move the body and when we fulfill our goals and dreams.
In the absence of slow-acting dopamine, we create escape behaviors by stimulating fast-acting dopamine by scrolling on social media or other apps, smoking, shopping, eating sweets & snacks, drinking alcohol or watching TV.
Get to know yourself and what you enjoy…
Five concrete tips to increase your ability to enjoy:
Touch youg every day, preferably outdoors.
Touch yourself in a way that you enjoy.
Touch nature, leaves, grass and branches when you are outdoors.
Make sure to get enough sleep.
Dare to ask others for what you want in your life.
Five concrete tips on what to avoid in order to enjoy life more:
Avoid scrolling on mobile.
Avoid fast food, snacks and sweets.
Don't have sex if you're not horny.
Say "no" to everything you don't want in your life.
Sometimes you can get stuck in old patterns that mean you can't really find your enjoyment in life. The causes can be many, ranging from trauma, lifestyle, isolation, addiction or a blockage in the nervous system.
With me, you get help to find YOUR pleasure and to let pleasure become a compass to a happy life. Do you need my help or inspiration? Get in touch with me. I am here for you!
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